Love brought you together but as life’s pressures ensue, your relationship may suffer. Having children, losing a job, moving house, emptying the nest, extra family relationships, and health issues can be a catalyst for relationship breakdown. It’s rare that a partner is blind-sided completely by their partner (though this does happen to some) but rather a gradual drifting apart that is the greatest threat to relationship satisfaction.As it is often difficult to perceive a slowly drifting separation, here are some signs that you and your partner should seek couples counselling:
- You remember and dwell on the negative aspects of the relationship more than the positive.
- Conflict rarely gets resolved.
- There is violence or abuse (physical, emotional, drug or alcohol).
- You rarely laugh together.
- You feel you or your partner are having or in danger of having an affair.
- You avoid sharing your true feelings with your partner to minimise conflict.
- Depression or other health problems are recurring.
- There seems to be secrets and trust is missing.
- Loss of desire for sexual intimacy.
In couples counselling, you and your partner meet together with the therapist where the relationship, rather than the two individuals, is the “client”. Sometimes couples counselling works best alongside individual counselling and your therapist can advise and arrange for this as well.
Expectations in Couples Counselling
One common goal of couples therapy is to enhance communication skills. This involves learning to express thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, while also actively listening to your partner without judgment. Through communication exercises and techniques taught by the therapist, couples can develop more effective ways of expressing themselves and understanding each other.
Another typical goal is to address underlying issues that may be contributing to relationship difficulties. This could involve exploring past traumas, childhood experiences, or patterns of behavior that are negatively impacting the relationship. By understanding these underlying factors, couples can work towards healing and creating a more fulfilling partnership.
Additionally, couples often seek therapy to rebuild trust and intimacy. This may involve addressing trust issues stemming from past betrayals or conflicts, and finding ways to reconnect emotionally and physically. Therapists may use techniques such as role-playing, trust-building exercises, and homework assignments to help couples rebuild trust and intimacy over time.
Overall, the goals of couples therapy are tailored to the specific needs and concerns of each couple. Whether it’s improving communication, resolving conflicts, rebuilding trust, or rediscovering intimacy, couples therapy provides a supportive environment for couples to work through their issues and strengthen their relationship.